Give me Water , Food and Facebook- revised

             "While America is boasting of her freedom and making the world ring with her professions of equality, she holds millions of her inhabitants in bondage." (Henry Brown) This was written in 1851 by a former slave, one of many writings about the concerns that many held against slavery. How could then, this idea still be applied nowadays to our reality of free, democratic country? What kind of slavery is leading society to regress, taking away our freedom, distorting our values and corrupting our families? It is an invisible enemy much different than the obvious forces of the past. Although the consequences of this new type of enemy have been destroyed families, wrecked relationships, and wasted lives, this is not a slavery that is being forced upon us, but rather is a slavery of our own choosing. This slavery is the bondage of the virtual world. The same way the slaves of the past tried to escape from their reality with stories and culture, today we use computers and virtual lives to escape our own realities. The American nation's well being and ideals rest on the beliefs of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Are we being faithful to those principles when prioritizing our virtual lives, denying liberty by being slaves of the internet and social networks? How are we pursuing happiness by conducting relationships in a fake reality? 

            Jacksonville mom Alexandra V. Tobias, 22, pleads guilty to murder. Alexandra was arrested after the January death of 3-month-old Dylan Lee Edmondson. She told investigators that she became angry because the baby was crying and interrupting her, while she was playing a computer game called FarmVille on the Facebook social-networking website. (The Florida Times Union).

            Social networking, in our generation, has become more than a tool or a mean to our lives, but a purpose, an end. Many are living for the next status on their Facebook, twitter or for the next video they will publish on their YouTube channel. This is a real issue that needs to be taken more seriously by each of us, starting with me.  

           Facebook is the most widely used and known social networking site, with more than 500,000,000 users; one in every 13 people on Earth have a facebook account, more than the entire population of USA. Almost half of Facebook's users visit it every day, 71.2 % of U.S. web audience are on facebook and  48% of young Americans said they get news about current events through Facebook. There are 10 million comments posted on Facebook every 20 minutes — that’s 500,000 comments per minute (Dyer). Some of its users spend an inordinate amount of time on Facebook, allowing the hours to while away unnoticed, the chores to go uncompleted, and even going so far as to ignoring family and friends in the actual world.

             Elizabeth Cohen writes an article on Facebook addiction, using as a setting the real story of a woman who is so ashamed of her addiction and so, decides to use a code-name - Newton. Apparently, Newton's twelve year old daughter asked for help on her homework numerous times, although her mom “could not” help her, for being so held up on Facebook. The daughter tries another strategy by emailing her mother asking for help, but the email was not noticed. Newton says that one day without facebook is the best she can handle, although one whole weekend without it, it is too much of a requirement. I wonder how many people, in certain level, can relate to her story. With the help of a marriage therapist and a clinical psychologist, Cohen identifies five clues to help readers detect if they are "Facebook addict".

            If you are losing sleep due to spending an excessive amount of time on Facebook, spending more than one hour a day on this social networking website, if you become obsessed with old loves or you ignore work in favor of Facebook, if just the thought of getting off it leaves you in a cold sweat, in Cohen’s opinion, you are obsessed with it. I would make it easier for you by saying that if you cannot imagine your life without this website, meaning that you understand that you need this tool for whatever reason, you might want to consider the power of influence, and maybe damage, of it in your real life.

            It is hard to pinpoint an exact amount of time to spend on Facebook, but marriage and family therapist, Paula Pile, says that she thinks that probably no one needs more than 30 minutes a day.  a marriage and family therapist in Greensboro, NC,  states there is nothing wrong with "befriending" an old boyfriend or girlfriend, but she warns that it can get out of control easily. For example, it could cause inappropriate flirting between the two, which could cause a divorce. Mark Keenan, Managing Director of Divorce-Online said: "I had heard from my staff that there were a lot of people saying they had found out things about their partners on Facebook and I decided to see how prevalent it was, I was really surprised to see 20 per cent of all the petitions containing references to Facebook” (GMT). Joanna Lipari, a clinical psychologist at the University of California, states, "If you're not doing your job in order to sneak time on Facebook, you could have a real problem”.
           There are many facebook users assuming that they consider themselves addicts to it or that there is a possibility of an addiction. Many of the last ones, have decided to do not be on facebook so often, in numerous cases; just one day absence, caused to them stress and anxiety, proving that they need to reach out for help.

           Eric Frazier, from the website Charlotte observer  writes a story about a mother (Melynda Rushing) who wants her daughter to study harder, so she made her Facebook-loving college student a deal: Stay off the social network for a month, pour all those extra hours into academics, and you'll get $300. About halfway through the challenge, Alyssa Rushing misses the network so much she jokingly says she's going through “Facebook detox”:  “It's very hard," she said via telephone from the University of South Carolina Upstate campus in Spartanburg. "It was actually a lot harder the first couple of days. I didn't know I was truly addicted."

          Even though in so many ways the theme “facebook addiction” has been approached through books (ex: Facebook Addiction: The Life and Time of Social Networking Addicts ), blogs, research (Google search website  has more facebook addictions entries than cigarettes or sex addictions entries – The Internet Time Machine) , shirts etc, there are still many people that are not aware of how facebook has become  a priority in their lives. The organization School Online have gathered an incredible amount of statistics that, in my opinion, makes many of us reconsider our own, “status” on facebook addiction: 48% of 18 to 34 years old check their facebook right when they wake up; About 28% check their facebook on their smart phones before getting out of bed; The college demographic (18-24) grew 74% in one year; “Facebook” was the most searched term for the second year running; 57% of people talk to people more online than they do in real life; In 20 minutes, 10,208,000 comments are made on facebook wall.

          There are a great amount of reasons that can be attributed to the over-growing addiction towards the social website; one of them is the fact that it gives users a sense of worth. All of us require a sense of self-esteem and worth and this is what ever Facebook user profile has become a source for. In an article written by Andrew L. Mendelson and Zizi Papacharissi titled Look at us: Collective narcissism in College Student Facebook Photo Galleries,they write: “People are able to post only that information which presents a desired image. While people are purportedly presenting themselves, they are presenting a highly selective version of themselves. Social network sites (SNSs) present the latest networked platform enabling self presentation to a variety of interconnected audiences.”  For every average user, their profile is the perfect tool for them to shout out to the world about their interests, their thoughts, philosophy of life and everyday events.

           Facebook also makes it a lot easier for us to satisfy our humanistic instincts. We all have a sense of curiosity that compels us to know what is going on around us, within our social circle, your neighborhood, your office, or even what your competitors are up to. Facebook lets users become very aware of friends’ activities. And the most appealing one, is the facebook application available on mobile phones, making it a lot easier the massive amount of times people can login, for its convenience.

         There is no problem in having a facebook account but it can become a problem when you find more pleasure in it, then in your real life. A “2.0 generation” seeks for freedom in a virtual world and finds addiction as a powerful enemy, restricting their ability to prioritize their activities or meaningful purpose for their lives. While researching this topic, it made me feel as if we were the Chernobyl victims; for the life of the habitants of  Pripyat (city affected by this tragedy)  continued normally after the worst nuclear accident in history, because the enemy was invisible. Even the ones that had knowledge of the gravity of the accident, like the militaries and the scientists, remained in the city. They were ignoring the dangerous while they were sleeping and working there. The accident was hidden from the rest of the world for a while, even though, Europe was in dangerous. The ignorance is an evil that works silently, although, powerfully.

           This issue is only one of the consequences of a society that has become increasingly selfish and individualistic, making it harder to be solved for being so interconnected with so many other issues of our society. The addiction for this virtual life is a direct consequence of the loss of values that should be the foundation of our lives, as individuals, consequently, the cornerstone of this country. Conscientization is necessary, although, to be aware of our addictions is not enough to stop us, there must be a profound awareness of the values that are being lacked in our lives that led us to this addiction.

            One must reevaluate  how he or she perceives the entity of family, what they believe to be the purpose of our lives, analyze their self esteems , because the perspective of those, were distorted by this broken civilization; appearance seems to be more valuable than character, and sacrifice was traded for convenience, that is why people do not sacrifice their time to visit a friend that is sick or going through a difficult time, when they can just send them a message on their facebook; that is also why the image we pass through our profiles is hardly who we truly are, rather, who we want people to believe we are.

            We must face our real lives and real problems, take care of our real family and friends (that are probably less than 1000), spend quality time with our neighbors, visit the sick, instead of posting in their wall-  hardly a word can be warmer than a hug or even just a presence of a friend.  Parents would not have to “stalk” their children on the internet if they developed a genuine relationship of trust with them; instead of playing with a machine, we could gather our friends, play a game and have a meal together. I remember that when I was younger, we used to classify two people as real friends when they “knew” all their faces, when they could translate each other without words, I wonder if we still can apply this wisdom nowadays. The human being was not made to be alone and our nature requires company, affection and time from one another. We need to be more humans, go back to the essence of fellowship.