Monday, July 30, 2012

Final Reflective Essay


            As my husband and I finished saying our vows, my pastor from Brazil reminds us of the importance to keep on learning about each other, understand who we are and where we came from, I believe this wisdom is especially important in cases like ours, a cross-culture marriage, and how the effort we put now on this matter will impact our descendents and their generation.
            There are so many differences between two nations , those differences brings us two choices: to seek understanding about other cultures and learn how to love them, so their differences  will add to our relationship with them, or to ignore and judge , creating a hierarchical view of cultures, subtracting from your relationship with one another. I chose option number one, and this class has helped me to understand not only what does it mean to be an American, as it has taught me about my husband and myself.  .
            It is overwhelming to attempt to write what I have learned during these 10 weeks. What have I learned about what? Literature, life, America’s  path, beliefs, flaws, difficulties, strengths and fears or my beliefs, my flaws, my difficulties, my strengths and my fears ? Oh how wrong I was when I read the first essay theme ( “What is an American?”) and thought that this class would make me feel like a fish out of the water; How mistaken I was when I thought that it was impossible for me, a Brazilian, to relate to this class , this culture’s history , challenges and victories          
             I learned from early ages to be critical, to do not accept any knowledge without questioning but I also learned to do not stop on seeking for answers. I learned a great wrong deal about United States through the TV, back in Brazil, that made me so distant from what today is my new home. This class, though, made me revise my concepts, arouse my curiosity and reminded me of who I truly am, a person that does not accept easy answers without foundations. This culture of social networking, blogs, and  globalization, brings us freedom of speech but it  also brings us a greater responsibility to be more critical, study harder and to be slow on judging because anyone can publically represent their country, culture or what they call to be their faith, and they might not even know themselves. We must be as careful to speak as we should be to have discernment about what we listen and what we read, literature and history can be great tools on helping us to learn the truth from the experience of others. Smart is the man who learns with his own mistakes, but wiser is the man who learns with the mistakes of others.
            As I learned about the civil war its causes and consequences, I questioned the confederate flags still hanging in many houses in my in-laws neighborhood; as I learned about Thoreau’s writings on nature, I wondered how much of that could had influenced Roosevelt’s Government; as I read about the constitution, I wondered whether the American freedom, so acclaimed nowadays, came from the blood of many or from the ideas of few, spread by words; or even if the blood came from the words or if some words stopped some blood from being spilled; as I pass by Brown’s box, I wondered if his contemporaries had the word dignity written in their dictionary; as I read Emerson’s essays, I wondered what he would had said about credit cards, installments and super sales. When this class began, I thought it would require from me plenty of reading, and with my limited free time, it would be my challenge, now I can tell that, more than writing, it required from me an overwhelmingly greater amount of time of thinking, or more expressly, critical thinking.  I believe I learned with this class that even though I did not agree with some of the ideas on the essays we have read, they all made me think critically.  Franklin, Thoreau, Emerson and Payne writings had a greater impact in this particular challenge. “But it is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.” (Payne).
            As I detailed in a previous essay, In English 241 we learned what America is through the lenses of literature. We could notice repeatedly the influence that Literature had throughout American History in imperative moments of changes.  The first writings of genuine literature defined the new society that was being formed in this land; the literature of the romantics that helped to fight slavery, the Declaration of independence that helped The United States to have freedom from its former colonists, among many more examples. American, as we know, is famous for being a country of freedom, we learned although, that this freedom did not come lightly and it is still a work in process.  
            One of the most engaging and interesting subjects we learned in this class was the impact of the Romanticism on insightful progressive movements. We learned that part of the Romantic Political plan was inclined to believe that by helping others to experience life to its best, they would learn how to feel as others do, and learn how to have more sacrificial lives by putting others before themselves. This way of thinking led them to engage in profound causes and progressive movements as women’s suffrage, the fight for Native American Rights, and the fight to end slavery. They gave the first steps towards freedom. (Dr. Brandon)
            We have been given a special attention to slavery; we brought up a delicate subject that still affects us, black market slavery, and the discussions about this subject gave me a bigger perspective on our contribution to this evil. I learned that our alienation to great matters of our society does not excuse us from its guilt. We learned that those involved with abolitionism and suffrage used literature as one of their most powerful weapons to defend their campaigns, bringing more and more people to believe in what they believed , which was initially supported by only a few.
            The readings of J. Hector St. John de Crevecoeur, gave me a closer perspective of the slavery issue. As in my country, Brazil, we did not have the civil war that United States had, to give freedom to the slaves, it has been hard for me to understand so many culture differences that unfolded between the white Americans and the African Americans after the war of the North against the South and all the baggage that many still carry from it.  I admit being far from understanding why in Brazil there is not so much separation and contrast as here, although, literature has helped me to better understand the tension created before the civil war period and reading detailed essays about the subject, has helped me to start grasping some answers to my restless questions.           
            Studying the origins of America has helped me to understand America today, who they are, where they came from. We learned how Thoreau’s and Emerson’s writings, with the purpose to bridge the gap between the people of his society and nature around them, influenced the idea of having parks (something United States is really well known for, nowadays) and the beginning of the environmentalist conscious that we, still today, seek for.
            Another idea that is deeply related to America, consumerism, was foreshadowed in the writings of Jefferson and Franklin, who tried to make their contemporaries aware of how debt can be a type of slavery, truth which has helped lead this country to its current  recession. Another writer whose idea is still applicable was  Thoreau’s,  who believed that happiness was not to obtain material wealth but to live simply and enjoy nature and the world around you and the people in it, those ideas helped me to see the signs that were given by those scholars of the current individualist America.
            Lastly, we came to understand that the Declaration of Independence was strategically written to give a bad impression of the British Government of King George, by detailing his innumerous despotic and totalitarian acts, to justify their rebellion and, most importantly, their declaration of independence.
            Overall, I learned a great deal about America through the lenses of Literature in this class. To follow the steps of the forefathers, to read their thoughts, to learn from their experiences gave me a far greater idea of what is an American and the components that contributed to make the America we live in now. I also relearned, as I mentioned earlier, to think critically, and as far as my writings went, I believe that I was increasingly influenced by our readings throughout the class and even though I did not fully understand the concept of the class in the very first week, I believe it was clarified to me throughout the second week with so many of my questions being answered by our professor and my colleagues.
            I confess I had an atypical summer, starting with my moving from my host parents house to my own house on the first week of class, then my wedding that happened on the second week of the curse, bringing many Brazilians from all over the globe for me to host for a couple of weeks; followed by a sickness that kept me in bed for over a week. No challenge was big enough to keep me from accomplishing my goal to finish this class with excellence. I believe my reading and writing skills improved considerably, also my knowledge about how American history has been unfolded. I had all my essays posted at the time required by Doctor Brandon, with the exception of those that I revised and reposted within his grace period. I believe my second half of this curse was better than the first as I increased my understanding of what was required from me by reading the blog posts on the weekly assignment by Doctor Brandon. I participated in the class discussions with consistency, and tried to incorporate the readings in my discussions and essays as I thought it was relevant. I honestly could not stretch my time between, work and other classes to work on extra credit opportunities, I wanted to dedicate my time to doing a better job on what we were assigned for, although, I believe my participation on the class blog, including making questions and helping other classmates was one of the activities to be considerate as extra credits. What I would had done definitely if I had the opportunity was to take this class on campus and not online. Unfortunately, many of my classmates did not participate in the discussion as I expected and so I believe the discussions could have been richer and the experience greater than in an online class, although, this online experience was an interesting one, it made me eager to go home and see what else had been posted on the blog by the Professor and I particularly loved the option that he gave us to listen to the essays. Also, The reflective essays allowed me to feel engaged in the class,  it was my first experience with this class dynamic and I truly enjoyed it.
            As far as “what now?” what to do with what I have learned? I believe English 241 had a special meaning to me. I am not a person of many talents, what defined me back in my country were my writings. I was the girl with paper and pencil, the poet, the bookworm, and then I came to the United States, to a different culture and language; I have been, since then, trying to find my identity again, I lost interest in writing. Although, after taking this class, I believe now, that it is possible to write again. The study of American  Literature can be the answer that I was looking for; My goal now is to learn about this culture, read and read and read some more to learn this language so what has distracting me from my path, can become my ally.

            “Stones on my path? I keep them all, and one day I’ll build a castle.” ( Fernando Pessoa)

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